I ran into some one yesterday who had done the Sardine Challenge. The Mom said that she and the girls had hidout side a door that had blinds on the inside. Their dog stuck his head in the blinds barking with his tail wagging until Dad found them. They said it was a hysterical scene! Everyone laughed very hard!

I loved hearing the story. It is so good to laugh with family.

Their story brought up an important point. You might want want to make some agreements about where you can and cannot hide. For example, the attic and outside may be out of bounds. I guess the moral to this story is: Families function best when there are clear agreements.

I ran into someone at the store who had done the family scrolls. She did a different version of it. She was having difficulty with her 16 yr old stepson. He wouldn’t talk much to her nor would he make direct eye contact. She decided to give him a scroll with what she loved about him.

She said that he read it, looked into eyes intently and said, “Thank you, I really appreciate this!” She was so happy.

I know this seems a little small but sometimes we give up on a family member and we forget that something this small can make a BIG difference.

Tip for the holidays.

Our family went to pick out “the perfect” tree together, one of our traditions. Everyone piles in the car in search for the “Holy Tree!” Arguments use to ensue about who got “shotgun” BEFORE we even got out the door. So one of the things we have learned to do is to ask the questions before we leave. Here are some: “How do we want this experience to sound like and feel like?” I try to stay as quiet as humanly possible to let my children come up with the answers. (Super glue for lips would be a good invention for mom’s like me who talk too much!) I would often have to ask, “Do we want fighting or no fighting? And what should we do if there is fighting?” I also added the word complaining to that question.

This “preemptive strike” on parent’s part can be very effective for creating more peace in the family. I highly recommend it.

How is your Holiday Challenge coming? I would love to hear about your experiences. What happened? How did you feel? How did your family respond?

Warmly,

Kathryn Kvols

Author of “Redirecting Children’s Behavior”